SHAWN O'DONNELL
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SHAWN TALKS ABOUT HIS LIFE...
It was the summer of 1986 when I had my first gay experience. I didn't know what to think! So many emotions; is this what I was feeling all these years. I knew I was
different, but could this be what I was searching for. At first, I felt dirty ashamed of what I had done.
When I was 10 I became sexual active with the neighborhood boy. Mind you most kids experiment when they are younger, but for me I continued wanting more and
more. I became a Christian at a youth retreat when I was 13 years old. The same neighborhood boy who I was having sex with took me to his Pentecostal church.
He introduced me to God and a new family. Talk about confusing! I didn't tell anyone about my desires and feelings for my friend, but I continued through high
school hooking up with him three to four times a week.
Time went on and I continued to hide this secret. I told no one! At the age of 15 my friend and I lost contact and went our separate ways. He stopped coming to
church and I through myself into church in hopes of not having to deal with my being gay. During high school no one knew my sexual orientation. I kept to myself
and didn't have many friends. I would go to church three or four times a week. The year I turned 17 I had the opportunity to go on a mission’s trip to Mexico. I
thought this would be exciting and God would have to love me for helping less fortunate people. So I spent some weeks training for this mission’s trip and then went
with a group of people to Mexico. The trip was good, but I met another guy who I found struggled with being gay too. One day we were in a tent camping he began
to pursue me and before we knew it we were having sex. This went on for months even after the trip. My life was devastated. Every time I went to church I would go
to the altar and pray, beg, and weep that God would take this away from me, but nothing happened.
Finally, at the age of 18 I finally told my pastor what I had been struggling with for years. We prayed, wept, read the bible, and I was even anointed with oil. My
pastor tried to help me. He found support groups. Groups that say you can change your sexuality. He told me about a group who believes it to be an addiction. I
tried everything. Eventually I got fed up with the trying I began having panic attacks and fell into some major depression. I ended up in the hospital after trying to
commit suicide. I spent a week in the hospital. They put me on medication and eventually I was stable enough to go home.
After a few months of being home I found out about a group of people in California who were changing their sexuality. They had a ministry were you could live in
there house and they would help you “overcome” being gay. So in the summer of 1997, I left Chicago to start a new life. The program is through a group called
Exodus. Exodus is an international organization that believes homosexuality is a sin and can be changed. I spent three years in California and you want to know
what happen. I was gayer than when I went it. Nothing had changed except I had learned so much about being gay and about who I truly was. I tried harder than
anyone not to be gay and when I wasn’t changing they told me to pray harder; read your bible more; go to church more. None of which worked.
Finally, after 5 years I left what is called New Hope Ministries to return to Chicago. I wanted to live! I was tired of being told I needed to change. God never said so!
God loves me for who I am and not what I can do. Sometimes I still get depressed or anxious. But I keep reminding myself that God makes no mistakes. I am a new
creation. God loves all his children no matter what your sexual orientation is. We all sin and have fallen short of the glory of God. I don't believe being gay is a sin by
the way. It’s a part of me just like other things are. Jesus restored my sexuality with my Christianity he gave me hope when the church rejected me. My hope and
vision is one day God will use my life in a bigger way to save more lives. I hope my story gives you inspiration to press on and to never lose hope. To always strive
for a better tomorrow. God loves you. I love you.
Many Christians use the Bible to point out the needs, fallacies and sins in the lives of others, while excusing their own. As long as we can find someone worse than us
we're happy. Christ didn't condemn sin, He bore it. And He abolished the Law as He established the whole world in the New Covenant. He said to take heart because
He had overcome the world. He propitiated (did away with) the sins of the whole world so where do we come off picking out and pointing out the perceived sins of
others?
Why was God blasphemed among the Gentiles in Paul's day, because of the very people who should exemplify His greatest traits- His mercy and love? Why is
today's society so repulsed by religion and Christianity, because of the very people who have accepted God's love and grace for themselves and then set
themselves up as the paragons of God's judgment on the society around them? They hide their own sin of self-righteousness while condemning others.
Robert Jamieson wrote, "It is a sad mark of depravity when all that is designed and fitted to melt only hardens the heart." I believe it is only the hardest of religious
flesh that wants to use the written word to crush and destroy when it was intended to heal and edify."
Simply stated, if you are homosexual and unsure of your salvation, all you need do is ask yourself these four questions:
1) Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?
2) Have you repented of sinful and addictive thoughts, feelings, attitudes and behaviors?
3) Have you confessed (spoken aloud) that Jesus is your Savior?
4) Can you understand spiritual things? If you have answered, "yes," to all four, then, you are saved. Or, would you call God a liar? (1 John 5:10)
The Bible teaches that "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Acts 2:21 NIV) "Everyone" is not restricted just to heterosexuals.
It was the summer of 1986 when I had my first gay experience. I didn't know what to think! So many emotions; is this what I was feeling all these years. I knew I was
different, but could this be what I was searching for. At first, I felt dirty ashamed of what I had done.
When I was 10 I became sexual active with the neighborhood boy. Mind you most kids experiment when they are younger, but for me I continued wanting more and
more. I became a Christian at a youth retreat when I was 13 years old. The same neighborhood boy who I was having sex with took me to his Pentecostal church.
He introduced me to God and a new family. Talk about confusing! I didn't tell anyone about my desires and feelings for my friend, but I continued through high
school hooking up with him three to four times a week.
Time went on and I continued to hide this secret. I told no one! At the age of 15 my friend and I lost contact and went our separate ways. He stopped coming to
church and I through myself into church in hopes of not having to deal with my being gay. During high school no one knew my sexual orientation. I kept to myself
and didn't have many friends. I would go to church three or four times a week. The year I turned 17 I had the opportunity to go on a mission’s trip to Mexico. I
thought this would be exciting and God would have to love me for helping less fortunate people. So I spent some weeks training for this mission’s trip and then went
with a group of people to Mexico. The trip was good, but I met another guy who I found struggled with being gay too. One day we were in a tent camping he began
to pursue me and before we knew it we were having sex. This went on for months even after the trip. My life was devastated. Every time I went to church I would go
to the altar and pray, beg, and weep that God would take this away from me, but nothing happened.
Finally, at the age of 18 I finally told my pastor what I had been struggling with for years. We prayed, wept, read the bible, and I was even anointed with oil. My
pastor tried to help me. He found support groups. Groups that say you can change your sexuality. He told me about a group who believes it to be an addiction. I
tried everything. Eventually I got fed up with the trying I began having panic attacks and fell into some major depression. I ended up in the hospital after trying to
commit suicide. I spent a week in the hospital. They put me on medication and eventually I was stable enough to go home.
After a few months of being home I found out about a group of people in California who were changing their sexuality. They had a ministry were you could live in
there house and they would help you “overcome” being gay. So in the summer of 1997, I left Chicago to start a new life. The program is through a group called
Exodus. Exodus is an international organization that believes homosexuality is a sin and can be changed. I spent three years in California and you want to know
what happen. I was gayer than when I went it. Nothing had changed except I had learned so much about being gay and about who I truly was. I tried harder than
anyone not to be gay and when I wasn’t changing they told me to pray harder; read your bible more; go to church more. None of which worked.
Finally, after 5 years I left what is called New Hope Ministries to return to Chicago. I wanted to live! I was tired of being told I needed to change. God never said so!
God loves me for who I am and not what I can do. Sometimes I still get depressed or anxious. But I keep reminding myself that God makes no mistakes. I am a new
creation. God loves all his children no matter what your sexual orientation is. We all sin and have fallen short of the glory of God. I don't believe being gay is a sin by
the way. It’s a part of me just like other things are. Jesus restored my sexuality with my Christianity he gave me hope when the church rejected me. My hope and
vision is one day God will use my life in a bigger way to save more lives. I hope my story gives you inspiration to press on and to never lose hope. To always strive
for a better tomorrow. God loves you. I love you.
Many Christians use the Bible to point out the needs, fallacies and sins in the lives of others, while excusing their own. As long as we can find someone worse than us
we're happy. Christ didn't condemn sin, He bore it. And He abolished the Law as He established the whole world in the New Covenant. He said to take heart because
He had overcome the world. He propitiated (did away with) the sins of the whole world so where do we come off picking out and pointing out the perceived sins of
others?
Why was God blasphemed among the Gentiles in Paul's day, because of the very people who should exemplify His greatest traits- His mercy and love? Why is
today's society so repulsed by religion and Christianity, because of the very people who have accepted God's love and grace for themselves and then set
themselves up as the paragons of God's judgment on the society around them? They hide their own sin of self-righteousness while condemning others.
Robert Jamieson wrote, "It is a sad mark of depravity when all that is designed and fitted to melt only hardens the heart." I believe it is only the hardest of religious
flesh that wants to use the written word to crush and destroy when it was intended to heal and edify."
Simply stated, if you are homosexual and unsure of your salvation, all you need do is ask yourself these four questions:
1) Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?
2) Have you repented of sinful and addictive thoughts, feelings, attitudes and behaviors?
3) Have you confessed (spoken aloud) that Jesus is your Savior?
4) Can you understand spiritual things? If you have answered, "yes," to all four, then, you are saved. Or, would you call God a liar? (1 John 5:10)
The Bible teaches that "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Acts 2:21 NIV) "Everyone" is not restricted just to heterosexuals.
